Key to successful relationships & marriage Part 2

( Please refer to part one 1st before reading part 2 )

How do you have a successful relationship with someone through out your life? You need allot knowledge, you need allot of understanding. And a truck load of wisdom. And that's what the bible says. "the rooms will then be filled with treasure." You can have a wonderful home, every single office will be like a treasure place. Even going to work will be happier, if you can have good relationship with people. There are some folks who don't wanna go to work tomorrow why? They're gonna face somebody they upset with. Or vice versa, and it's not a nice place to work when people around you ain't speaking to you. So how do you relate to people where it's a joy, it's a treasured place to go there. And imagine not be able to come home to a place like that.

Very important, we wanna talk about the principles of successful relationship. I wanna define principles for you 1st. The word "princ" from the word principles mean = 1st. And I wanna bring this back to you because, a principle has to do with the 1st law that was lay down by the manufacturer ( GOD ). In another words, the principles of relationships has to do with the original laws of relationships that were lay down by the manufacturer. So we're gonna be dealing with God's laws concerning how to have good relationships. So we're gonna talk about the fundamental rule of principles means that the base rule, the fundamental rules of everything that God created. The foundation laws. Principles therefore, have to do with the 1st fundamental foundational, original laws established by the manufacturer which are created and designed to regulate the function of everything that's created. When God created the woman and the man, he also designed laws by which they suppose to function, and relate to each other. Just like any manufacturer makes a car. He designs the care, He tells you how the car works. If you follows the law of the manufacturer, the car works fine. You create your own laws, you got problems just like if you "don't want" to put gasoline in the car, you "want" to fuel it with orange juice. So we gotta learn the presets , the principles, the foundational laws. And what I'm teaching you, is not something what I came out with last week.

I'm really sad, when I see people especially Christians, fallen apart in marriage. I said to myself " this is so easy to fix." But they know nothing, they don't understand it, they don't have the information. This is what I see here in Malaysia, this is normally the happens to Kelantanese Malays, if a wife starts an argument the man would  just say, "if you keep on shouting and scolding I'm gonna divorce you." And the wife just shuts her mouth and let it be just like that. Many I've seen many couples ended in divorce. The Malays has the highest rank of divorce rate in the country. Last year, statistics shows that a Malay couple gets divorced every 15 minutes. The Facebook social networking site popped up as one of the top reasons for divorce.
Because, for every five divorce cases, two or three will have been caused by Facebook. 

And so what couples normally do? Is they just throw it away. It's like having a car, don't know how to fix it so you just leave it beside the road. People do that in their relationships. There are people you break up with in your relationships, years ago? Just, you know, friends. Who was suppose to be blessings to you. But you don't speak to them no more for the last 20 years. And they still suppose to be a blessing to you. They can never get the blessing too, because you cannot handle the human relationship part. That's how important relationships are, gotta learn those principles. Just a statement here, the key to life therefore, is to live according to the knowledge, and then understanding, and obey those laws that make life function.

I believe that the greatest problem in all of life including relationships is ignorance of those principles.

Pastor Myles : my wife and I have been married for 25 years, and I mean I'm afraid to say this because people don't believe me. But we never had a fight, although we have different opinions, we discuss an issue. She give her opinion, I give my opinion. But never a fight, never raised our voice at each other for 25years. Never had a negative thing to slaughter each other. And it wasn't because we're lucky. It's because of knowledge. Let me give you a quick example, ( remember this ok ) because of what I know the knowledge, what I have studied about women, what I've learned over the last 30 years about females. I mean research. Do you know that? It is a principle, that you should never say a negative word to a woman. ( That's a principle ) Now how many men knows that??? Not many right? ( Lord have mercy ) You could think, negative words about your wife, never say them. ( And that's tough for us man )

Now here is what my dad told, " son husband and wife aren't suppose to quarrel, not at all. Both of them are always a team. Just like Dr. Myles and his wife.

Now a woman, a woman can say any kind of negative word to a man, doesn't effect him. But vice versa, you got a hell to pay. Do you know why? Because the principle, is that a woman does not hear words. Woman are designed differently from a man, they don't hear words. Man hear words, woman don't hear words. They ( woman ) experience words. This is negative and positive. Here is how it works:

He's your husband, you go to work. He's not treating you right at home, he keeps telling you negative things. You crazy, you stupid, you fat, you're ugly or whatever. You go to work, and a guy in the job says you're cute, you fine, you wonderful.

Now you see you got a couple of problems going on here. She's having a bad experience at home, so going to work is a pleasure. She can't wait to see that guy everyday who gives her another experiences. That's why it is important for you ( man) to be careful what you say to another man's wife. Are you getting it? See I can't talk to you woman in the church do I talk my wife. As innocent as may seem, I am giving you an experience. As a man of God, I have to be very careful what I say to women. That's why pastor get in trouble. Like any man gets in trouble. Because they don't know the principle. The principle is.... whatever you say to a women she feels it. That's why there's so many acts of adultery. So many broken marriages, because you got man are so ignorant of the principles, that even that they mean well. It turns into a deep well. Especially if the women, is having a bad experience at home. So if a man keeps telling a woman negative things, any man that tells her positive things. She's not looking for the man you know, she's looking for the experience. So she like to be around this man. And of course that feeds his ego, so he keeps on telling other things that make her be attracted to him. And then she confuses that with love, and now we got a problem now in a marriage. But it's all because of a principle, just one I've taught you. Just one. Sure it's complicated to this. Relationships, you don't need to be married to experience this. It's a relationship principle. That's why women, always seem to be control by man. If the man knows how to talk, get it? Yeah

And that's why you know, a women who ain't married going away with a guy, and the guy is telling all these wonderful thing, she experiences what she hears.
And then one day, he says: " I don't like you, you know? "
And she can't believe, this man wants to leave her. " What are you talking about? You already gave me 6 months of experiences. You called me on the phone and told me my voice was beautiful like music. You told that I'm lovely and I got a good personality, you kept stroking my experience, and now you are telling that you are leaving me? "
See and the woman takes it so hard because, she is about to loose experience. To him, so she calls him dog. Now you see a man is different, he doesn't feel words. He analyses words. A man different, so he takes the word dog, he analyses it. " Dog, see if I'm a dog? I'm not a dog. Good, ok. So I'm not a dog. " Now she gets doubly angry, he suppose to be mad. He doesn't get mad. So now it makes her more angry that he doesn't feel bad like how the way she feels about. So she thinks he's cold, heartless. No, he just don't feel the word. It's different, Principles, learn them.

That's why Jesus always tells His wife ( church ) beautiful things. "You are the apple of my eyes" He says. I mean Jesus never speaks negative to the church. He loves us so much. He says I'm gonna raise you up on the 3rd day, on the last day. And you'll be like a bride at dawn for a husband. I mean He says, " you are My Jewels and my crown. That's why we are so special to Jesus, He just says good things to His wife. She has an experience. So man, you learn an important principle. Be careful what you say to your secretary. You got to keep the limits. Tell her that's a nice dress today. That's all you meant. Have you married? You shouldn't let anybody tell your wife more good things than you tell her every morning before she leaves. You understand? That's how it works. Because if she gets more experiences from other man than she gets from you. You're in danger. It's getting deeper already huh? Haha. We're just got introduction here. It's a principle. What's the problem? The tragedy is that we're ignorant of these principles. And so we don't know why we cause problems. Sometimes, a man will end up having sex with a woman that he doesn't love. He loves his wife, but he's been talking to his woman. Saying the wrong things at the wrong level. Imagine a husband, who's married to a woman. Telling another woman " you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen" Now that is dangerous! Because only his wife suppose to hear that. You know what she hears? She experiences that she's better than your wife right away. So now you're in trouble cause she sees you as a target. You are vulnerable, as far you concern she is more important than your wife. You should never tell a woman anything that makes her more important than your wife. Cause she experiences it.

to be continue in part 3...