I'm with you

I just Love to hear this song at least it comforts me:


I'm with you. By Nichole Nordeman & Amy Grant, enjoy. =) 


Love is a hurricane in a blue sky, 
I didn't see it coming, never knew why, 
All the laughter and the dreams, all the memories in between, washed away in a steady stream. 
Love is a hunger, A famine in your soul. 
I thought I planted beauty, but it would never grow. 
Now I'm on my hands and knees, trying to gather up my dreams, trying to hold on to anything. 
We could shake our fists in times like this when we don't understand or we could just hold hands. 

(Chorus) 
You and me , Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you, I'm with you,. 
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you , I'm with you, with you. 

You do your best to build a higher wall. 
To keep love safe from every wrecking ball. 
When the dust is cleared you will see the house that love rebuilt, guarding beauty that lives here still. 

(Chorus) 
It's you and me , Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you ,I'm with you. 
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you, I'm with you. 

Who can say I'm left with nothing? 
When I have all of you, all of you, yeah. 
In the way you've always loved me. 
I remember. He does too. 

(Chorus) 
It's you and me, Me and you, Where you go I'll go too, I'm with you, I'm with you. 
Till your heart finds a home, I won't let you feel alone, I'm with you, I'm with you. 
Me and you are gonna make it through me and you. 
I'm with you, I'm with you, with you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMm_koB_sCc

Friends Are Truly A Special Gift From God

I've been listening to sermon about friendship. I'm learning and trying to understand about true friendship and it's principles. This evening, I went to a restaurant, Shogun, a Japanese buffet restaurant. It's one of my customer's restaurant. I was with my family for dinner, and at the same time.. we're planning to get the place set up with Digital Signage System. So when I arrived at the restaurant, waiting for the food to be served. And at the table there's this some sort of a brochure. I was surprised! Cause on piece of paper, I never knew that there's "Christian" word of wisdom / encouragement. So I guess my customer / owner of this restaurant must be a believer. And each table has different message. My mum was like amazed too...so she decide to keep it and bring it home. But this brochure, that's on my table.. it helps me to comprehend more of what  I've been learning for the past 3 months. Here is what it says:

Friend......
They love you,
but they are not your lover
They care for you,
but they are not from your family
They are ready to share your pain,
but they are not in your blood relation.
They are.... FRIENDS ! !!!!
True friend....
Scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER..
and finally loves U more than a LOVER.

HOLD a true friend and don't let go for a true friend comes once in a lifetime.

LOL... after reading this.... I thought all I did this time was wrong. Scolds like a father, cares like a mother.. I thought that's not the way of any relationship should be.

But in the principles of true love is like more than a true friend. Someone who can guide, cultivate, encourage, everything that's positive to a person, not negative. Yes.. we don't like to be scolded or nagged. But people meant well for us. Especially our parents... yet those true friends will do the same.

Now I understand that, many people asked God to help them change themselves. But they never knew that when the change comes. They aspect changes will be what they aspect it to be. They thought that the process of change would be easy. Example, you've been asking God to help you change your very bad habit, like not brushing your teeth when you're gonna go to bed. So you've been asking God to help with that. But you just can't aspect God to just change you immediately after your prayer... I only works if you're willingly to let him change yourself. Maybe the 1st 3 nights you're doing fine and you remember. on the 4th night maybe you forget. You're on your bed already and then your mum comes in and reminds you to brush your teeth. You'll feel irritated. But nono...that's not irritation that's help from God. So remember if you've asked for change... 1st always remember to be willingly to be change. Even if you're doing bad in your relationship. You've asked for change, always remember to 1st have the mindset to change yourself. Then the other image will see different in you, and he/ she will also change. It would be better, if you're able to fast and pray during this season of change. And get the correct teachings and knowledge. And I guarantee you that you'll be better person. Change is good. =)

Yes.. friends, there are humans too. Humans are made to be socialize creature. Not all friends we know very well. We won't know their standard and influences. Cause everyone comes from different backgrounds. That's why the longer you know the person the more expose they are to you. Then you'll start to judge people. And you'll be thinking that from the beginning this person is like a nice fruit cake. But after months, you see that the person slowly changes and they exposes their real colors. Some "friends" will end up betraying you. And you say... eee. But you'll never know that you've been influenced by that person. That's why there are many friends, but true friends are very few, or as the matter of fact it's rare. That's why it says true friends comes in a lifetime. If you have lots of friends, and you trying to fit in with them, you'll be blinded by them, cause you won't be able to see true friends. Mostly true friends are the ones who are having the same standards of your family standards. True friends loves the other true friend, just the way they are. If you don't really understand your own culture at home/ honor / respect, than it's just like not loving your own-self. Then you won't really see who your true friends are. That's why if you wanna have true friends, 1st you gotta love your own self 1st.( That means love your home, love, enjoy it, understand it appreciate it ) Enjoying your own company. Then you'll be able to enjoy people's company / people enjoy your's.

So it's always important to have true friends, for those who can improve you, cultivate you and cares for you.  True friend is a blessing from God.

" Just wanna say I love my friend ! " =)

Key to successful relationships & marriage Part 3

Here's a scripture, that  we all know well.

 Hosea 4:6 says :

My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. "Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

Simply put or write this down:

1.     The greatest enemy of man is ignorance. 

According to God you're not destroyed by the devil, you're not destroyed even by sin. You are destroyed by what? Ignorance.

This is what I heard people said: " The devil has ruined my marriage"

 No!! that ain't the devil, you just don't know what to do.

They even said: " The devil had gone into my wife." 

Ain't no devil into your wife. Ignorance all up in her. Up in you too, cause you don't know what to do. You might be causing her to have the problem, cause you don't know what to do. 

We so quick to blame the devil, poor guy. I'm sorry for the devil sometime man... he carry all this credibility for being the source of problems. You see... according to God, we're destroyed because of what? Ignorance. Very important.

     2. The greatest enemy of man say " you cannot do what you don't know. "

 Always remember that. And that is important in relationships. You cannot do what you don't have knowledge of. And there are always situations in relationships, like in anythings else that you need to know what to do when it happens. Dr. Munroe said that He could read his wife. I'm talking about like 10 seconds. By seconds just read her. Cause then He'll know what to do. 

Do you know what causes domestic violence? Domestic violence is the result of a person, who don't know how to fix something. You ever seen somebody at the side of the road kicking a car? It's very common. As if the car did something wrong. The car stopped, you get to the side, you curse the car, kick the car, punch the car, and curse the car. And the car didn't do anything to you. The only problem is that you don't know how to fix the car. So what do you do? You attack the car. That is what exactly what you do to people. The violence in our community, is a result of the Bahamian mentality is incapable of knowing how to resolve conflicts . They don't know how to do it. And so they would refer to anger, and then guns and physical abuse. That's why a man would beat a woman or why a boy would beat his girlfriend. Cause they don't know what to do. So they attack the person. You know, when ever you don't know what to do? Now listen to me, I'm telling you all some good wisdom. If you see problems coming into your car ( that's your relationship for example ), and you don't know what to do. Go and find a mechanic. That's what a counselor is. That's what a pastor and the staff is. They are your mechanic. Is if a mechanic, knows the engine. You hardly hear a mechanic curse at a car. Think about it, why? They know what to do. 

Here's what Dr. Myles has shared:

As the matter of fact, I remember one time I had an old car, it came from college. An old car called the green hornet, my car. And that car stopped, I din't know what to do with this car. So I called my friend, his name was Kenneth Neuri ( I guess that's his last name ) I mean he's one of the best mechanic and still is in the country. 

Kenneth:  ok i'll stop by the house and I'll check it out ". 

And that Saturday morning he came by Dr Myles's house before he went to work. 

Kenneth: ok where's the key? " 

I got the key says Dr. Munroe  

Kenneth: OK turn it. 

Dr. Myles turn it.

Kenneth: turn it again.

Dr. Myles turn it.

Kenneth: ok I know what's wrong.

In seconds, he went inside there and open that carburetor. He says see? The timing pin is broken.

Dr. Myles: how much it's cost?

Kenneth: 3-4 dollars

Dr. Myles: the whole car was just stuck for 3 dollars?

Kenneth : yup.

Dr Myles: Man...  I was mad for the whole day.

So you gotta keep learning.There's a pastor named Kevin. Pastor Kevin had been married for 37years ok. Now guess what? Pastor Henry has never been a grandfather. He just turn a grandfather. That means he and his wife are now what they never was. How do grandparents act. If his wife wants to go down to see her grandchild, and he don't want his wife to go. He got himself another problem. He had a woman now who's changed on him. She wanna be with the grandchild, He wants to be with her. See.. the was no one before that, so she was with him. So now he gotta learn how to deal how do you live with a grandmother. That ain't funny that's serious, she changed! Am I getting my point across? Don't think that because you are married means that you are made it. The person is always changing. 

Dr. Myles shared:

My wife is changed completely. My son and daughter left the house, and my wife has changed. Cause only us two home. Every room I go into, she's right behind me. Everywhere I go, why? There's no one else to talk to. I have no more privacy. And I have to think, " wait a minute, my wife is lonely " So now I have to become even more accessible to her. She's changed. And then she can change again. When my kids get married, have grand kids. I ain't no see her no more. I gotta go look for her. See, and I got to get ready for that. I got to know how do you deal with that. 

Ok you ain't got no kids right now, that's why you all got plenty time. When baby come, you're in trouble brother. You gotta compete with the child, for attention. See you don't understand people change, that's why you gotta keep getting information. Keep getting knowledge. 

Alright let me just wrap up now, on the point that we're gonna take up the next session. I want  you to take a look at, the fundamentals here the fact that man was created by God to have relationships.

1st point to remember. And this is what I called the principles of relationships:

1. Mankind was created to be a social creature. ( That's very important to write down )

You were not created by God to be isolated by yourself. Now, but that's a blessing but also a challenge. Because number 2..... :

2. Socialization is the principle of life.

If you are going to be a human, you got to socialize with people. Got to relate to people. Some of the relationships are permanent, some are temporary but you gotta learn to relate to people and people are strange. People are just like you, you are strange man.... And some people are fine until you get to know them. Hmm, somebody say amen.... haha.. 

Socialization is challenge. Alright? And so the point is this, all creation was design to function, according to certain principles that are establish by God. And these principles are used to protect and preserve those creatures. So we gotta learn those principles, so that we can learn how to protect and preserve one another. Your relationships suppose to a beautiful experience. And if it's not it's because, either you or the other party are not dealing with the information properly, or don't have information. And I'm telling you friends you can't guess about your marriage. You gotta know everything, as much as possible. That's why you got to keep getting information. You just got to know what to do, you got to know. Because you see, life is so complicated if you don't know what to do. There's gonna be tension, that goes to stress. And that stress comes into anger. And anger turns into bitterness, and that becomes division. And then leads into big divorce. You don't want to get there. So gotta get the information. Very important. 

The key to success in relationships are therefore, is understanding these principles. Drive that home in your spirit. And that's what we need to deal with. We wanna make that every family and every home and every potential relationships is successful. And it can be, and it will be, and God's gonna bless you, because we're gonna work together in these series to make your relationship a joy. 

Dr Myles Shared: A young man came to me recently and he said, I'm going with a girl but she has told me that she has " shiftfulness ". And we're engaged. What do I do Pastor Myles. 

Tough problems. You gotta guide them through that. Man was created with the need and the capacity for relationship. Both of those words are important. You need relationships, both male and female, and God has given you the capacity for it. You are able to have relationships. The problem is you need to understand the principles, that make relationships successful. And so we gotta find what are the established principles that God lay down from the beginning. What are the original ones? And I found this verse in the book of 

Genesis 2:18. ( I love it )

 "God says it is not good for man to be alone. " I will make help suitable for him. " 

The word alone doesn't mean lonely, the word alone means isolated. It's very important. The Hebrew concepts actually means the only one of your kind. It is not good for man to be the only one of his kind, so God made for him one who is suitable like him. God doesn't create you, to keep accompany with dogs and cats. I heard that mans best friend is a dog? That's not scriptural. Dogs were around when God said this to Adam. As the matter of fact Adam was naming the animals when God said this. And God says ain't none like you, and need someone just like you. That's why anyone who has house full of cats but ain't got nobody else, they're sick. " I don't need anybody, I got my little fluffy dog. " No you need prayer! And deliverance! This ain't normal. 

Let me tell why people fell in love with animals. Here's why, because they don't want to commit to the course of human relationship. So they settle for animals, and it's not scripture. See.. one thing with dogs, they can't  tell you what's wrong or what cha doing wrong. They can't give you their opinion. But God says it's not good for man to be alone, only one of his kind. So He made someone just like him. And boy... after God made that, trouble started. Got somebody to tell your teeth ain't clean, and your breath ain't fresh. Man it makes you mad ain't that brother? Somebody talked to you.

Very important, principles of relationships male & female. Fundamental scripture again:

26Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

And then I like this verse it says: 

²⁷ So God created mankind in His own image, 
   in the image of God He created them; 
   male and female.... ( that's the point I wanna get ) 

He made both of the genders, and then :

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.....

Be fruitful in your relationship. God expect good things from male and female. How fun. Boy... ever since the fall we've been struggling. One thing with marriage, once you get in you can't get out. Boy... that's class closed quarters. When you court, you can always go home. When you married ain't no house to go to, cause you are in the house. So you gotta face the music, you gotta learn how do I live with a person. And that's important to learn that before you get married, before you get in there. 

Here's something I thought something was interesting, in Matthew 19:3:

Some Pharisees came to Him ( Jesus ) to ask Him a question. They asked, “Should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

He asked about divorce, Jesus ignored the question. And He said:  

⁴ “Haven’t you read,” Jesus replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female

They asked about divorce, He went back to the beginning. Point I'm trying to make here is... the principle is what? The original fundamental law. Jesus always goes back to the original Law. Because the principles and the keys to success are the original laws of success. And He says look, divorce is not the problem. The problem is.. you didn't begin with  the original presets that God began with. Let me put it in another way...

Jesus said that, broken relationships are not problems / divorce to Jesus is not a problem, it is a symptom. Should write that down, very important. See we think that divorce is a problem, but it's not. It's a symptom. A symptom is like a pain, it's a pain in your body, that's not a problem, that's symptom that something else is wrong. So when they asked Jesus about divorce, He said, y'all ain't got divorce problem. Divorce is just a manifestation to something else is wrong. He said from the beginning, lets go back behind divorce. It's important to get a divorce unless you're married. It's impossible to get married unless you get a male and female. And it's impossible to get a male and female unless you get a male. He went right back, He said from the beginning God didn't make what you've get. God didn't create married 1st He said. And you can't get divorce unless you're married, so divorce is a result of marriage. So marriage ain't the problem. He says, the problem is you started with the wrong male and the wrong female. We focus on marriage, Jesus focuses on male and female. See your marriage is only as good as your singleness. So He said don't blame marriage, blame what cha started with. " the cake is only as good as the ingredients " So if the cake falls and it's dumped, you don't curse the cake. You gotta go check,  what did I used in the recipe incorrectly. The Pharisees are talking about a dumped cake ( divorce ), He said no, lets study what kind of flour and stuff you've put in. Lets start with what you started with. Obviously, you didn't started with the male and female at the beginning. You don't get the kind at the beginning, you get some other male / female, not the one that God had in the beginning. See.. that's why in this series you gotta go back and study His beginning male and female. Because that guarantees His cake ( successful relationship ). 

You know magic in marriage? Ain't no magic in relationships. It's simple. You started with the right thing, you end it with the right thing. So it's important to focus on singleness than to focus on marriage. Everybody wanna get married. No! You've gotta try and be single 1st. And try to find someone who is single, I mean really single, in the name of Jesus. Pastor Myles always remind me that marriage is like an egg omelette, it is only as good as the eggs. You don't improve on an omelette. You can't improve it, it is as good as the eggs you've started with. And that's what Jesus meant. He said divorce isn't the problem, you've started with the wrong eggs.

Let put it this way, Ps. Myles did an experiment, And I've tried it too. Get an rotten egg. How you get an rotten egg? Simple, take an egg and put a hole on top of it. And left it out for 2 days. It's sure stinks. Left it out in the heat. And then take the rotten egg mix it in a bowl with a very good egg from the refrigerator. And fry it. It'll sure be a stink house. Guess what? The omelette is completely stink. The rotten egg overpowered the good egg. An became an rotten omelette. And I've learn a lesson, the problem is I cannot get eggs again.  See... it's important to focus on eggs not omelettes. And whoever you crack with, whoever you yoke yourself up with, will either destroy you or you destroy him / or her. And the rotten one, gonna win.

Example (stories that I've heard) :

1st.  Woman: I know that He ain't safe, but to me he's a nice fellow. << that's a rotten egg.

2nd. Woman: He don't go to church right now,  but he promise me that after we get married. Then he'll go to church. <<< that's rotten egg sister.

 Ain't no mystery to life... No mystery. You crack with an egg, you get yourself an omelette. An the problem is, you can't un-omelette yourself. It's almost impossible to be an egg again. 

When you get a divorce, I see why God hates divorce. Let me tell you why God hates divorce. Because you never get yourself back. Never. Even in break-ups. Never. What happens is, parts of the old person becomes ingrained with your sidekick. It's like an egg, mixing. So you gotta pray for God to miraculously deliver you. But you can't ever unhook those things. That's why it's so tough.

If you get married 2nd time, you better get a course before you get married again. Take Dr. Myles course. Cause you don't wanna do it again. You don't wanna go through that trauma again. It is the worse thing in the world. Even break-ups. Because it's like an omelette.

If a woman marries a man, who did not have a father. She'll get some challenges. Even if a man marries a woman, who did not have a father. He'll get some challenges too. It's not possible you know, but there would be some challenges.

If a person comes from a home that was not functional home, you get some challenges too. These are realities. That's why you need counsel, that's why you need help. In some class, marriage class, or relationship class ( I mean those which are really qualified and good, but I recommend Dr. Myles class, cause they're good, now my dad is handling marriage counselling too, here in Malaysia. And I'm learning. XD ) cause they are always gonna be like parents to you. Parents you never had. The daddy that never talked to you., so that's where they gonna talking to you in this series. The mother you never had, that's what you gonna hear. Because you see, they're suppose to do this. You can't demand things that your dad can't give you. Because his daddy didn't give it to him. And that's the problem. And when you make a demand on someone that they can't fulfill, they become angry at you. Because you're telling them to produce something they don't have. It's tough. 

For me I'm blessed because I have a father, who is able to guide me, and able to share these knowledge with me. And we're both blessed, cause Dr. Myles are like our parent. Cause many of my uncles and aunts marriage ended up in divorce. If it's not my dad searches for teachings like this, my mum and dad would definitely end up in divorce. And I have 2 younger brothers and a sister. Our lives would definitely be broken. Now I'm blessed with these knowledge, I'll guide my brothers and sister, to be an example for them. Ok... if you're not married yet (this is what my dad & Dr. Myles taught me ), their advice is... study the person who you are considering. But don't study them, study where they're coming from. Because all that's coming into your life, and you might need some adjustments. Cause they're things that's good and bad. I mean if they never had a father, bring them to Dr. Myles ( from Bahamas ) or My dad ( Malasysia ). Or counselors ( qualified ones ) let them talk to them, they'll check them out for you and they become father to them. Because they're some things that they can't give you, if they didn't have the training. Am I making sense? You marry a woman, she didn't have the right kind of environment, you can't demand certain things from her, she can't give it to you cause, she never had the training. So we gotta to learn to catch up.

Last 2 statements here, write them down:

1.     Your marriage is only as good as your singleness. 

2.     And until you're single, you're ready for marriage. 

Very important to remember that. Those who have boyfriend and girlfriends, there's plenty of time more. Those who are married, is too late for you. Haha.. So you gotta try to become single fast, while you're married. In other words, get a good grip of who you are as individual. Ask God to give you yourself back, your self esteem, sense of self concepts. Simple statement right? If you wanna improve your marriage, improve yourself. We normally tell people to improve " why can't you change" no no no, you are the other egg. And we blame everybody for stuff, we always wanna transfer it. No..... If you want a better relationship, improve yourself. Read books, go to marriage seminars, read blogs like these, get some mp3 and listen them in the car, or jogging ( that's what I always do ) for few weeks ( remember to get the right source of information, not the bad ones ). Improve yourself, you'll be amazed on how much you'll see the person differently. As the matter of fact, the 1st person you see is yourself differently. Cause you begin to see your own weaknesses, your own lack of knowledge, your own ignorance level. You'll begin to be amaze that how dumb you are. As the matter of fact, you may asked the person to forgive you a 1000 times, when you get more information. Because your eyes opened. I want you to succeed. I want to see no more broken homes in the church or anywhere. I'm tired to of seeing the saints, fussing and fighting and can't sleep together in the bed with their wife and husband. I am sick and tired of seeing young teenage people and young single adults not being able to make good choices, and have good relationships without having all kinds of stress. You gotta get the knowledge. You should be able to get good relationship with a man / woman. But you gotta have knowledge for that to happen. And you gonna get them. You can get that knowledge in these class. And God's gonna give us a good core of solid people would live together until they die. That's my prayer. You'll know what to do.

Girls needs

12:45am , another 3 more hours till daily jogging routine. I'm sitting in on the floor, trying to understand how a girl feels. Someone special who is 420km away from where I am now. sigh... many of my friends were thought that I was insane. Being in a distance relationship with a girl, that hardly I could meet up with. We're only able to communicate through cell phone and Skypes video calls or other social applications. Yeah we've been back together again for quite some time now, probably 1 year +. Still moving going on... Hoping to go out for a date soon. =) Some people ( I don't wanna say names ) was like: "hey come on, you could get another nice girl out there. There's tons of girls that you could meet up with almost every day. Why would u wait her for, how many guys would even wait for a girl that long? Come on waiting sucks." Some even said: "come on chill out go and get some fun, get over to Su-ngai Kolok, which is a main order town of Malaysia-Thailand Border in Narathiwat Province, Thailand. ( just 45 min drive, besides... As a Kelantanese I have the privilege of getting over there with a border pass ) Head down there and meet up few chicks for the night." Imbeciles! I told myself like I'm gonna do such sin! I can't even do that to her! I'm a man of God I don't do such things. Like they're loyal to their girlfriend. Sometimes I just feel like, yeah there's plenty girls out there... why is has to be just her? I'm not getting the respect that I need. Does she even understand what respect to a man means? She's still young. Well.. does those any other girls knows what respect means?

Well I guess it's definitely worth the wait till her parents know and approve this relationship. And I don't mind waiting for her to slowly understand the love for a man need. Not every girl friend or wives knows that...  Well very few if I could put it that way. Not every man knows the true meaning of love to a woman. Everything takes time, I'll be patient. Yeah I admit, many man ain't no patient guy. Not many wanna wait this long. But I got to be one for her, cause I've already made promise to her. See... That someone special, she is a blessing to me, and forever is. If I'm gonna give up on her, I'l never be a blessing to her or she won't be a blessing to me. Although, there are some difficulties in this relationship, but at least I'm trying to appreciate. Cause I don't wanna go back to the trauma again, break up sucks. So now... I'm learning whatever I could learn from my parents and whatever information I could get from relationship counselor/ teacher and learn to apply it. So chin-up! I'm waiting for ya. You're never alone. <3

Great... I got get back to sleep soon... brothers, you know what? Girls has needs, what kind of needs? Affection, they really desire to have that beautiful relationship that they always dream of. Sometimes women really demands something from her husband that he can't afford to give, and the wife attacks the husband, abused him. Hit him with hard objects, throw things at him. Demanding a big banglo, nice car, nice dress and whatever she wants that her friends has. I've witness things like this. And wasn't long ago, just happened recently, in Penang, Malaysia. Why women are like that? Dr Myles Munroe has taught me that this is their nature, cause "most" women saw whatever her friends has, and they want it too. Things like, going to some places, house, car, dress, shoe, or whatever it is, they want it too. They would feel jealous. It's a normal thing. And most importantly for us men, it's a hint. It's just that, girls would need to learn to control those emotions/ feeling. How? That's when we men comes in.

Although, maybe we men can't afford things that women wants or be with them. We gotta encourage them saying: hold on baby, we're gonna get there/ you're gonna get it. ;)

Woman don't just demand, encourage the man too. After working hard in the field, if you're staying in a small house and wanted a bigger house. Don't just say negative things and destroy man's pride. You can't say: hey I want a bigger house. Why are you not working hard! Look at my friend's husband! He is able to buy a big house. You're stupid or what!? Sigh, that's why... many men doesn't wanna go home at night, cause their wives demands for something like that. Come sister Support him! Be positive, tell him:  Yeah baby! I know that we're gonna get bigger house baby. You could do it, I know you could! ;)

My dad told once, son relationship is about a team. Not a individual thing. Work as a team and think as a team. Relationships are suppose to be fun. Remember whatever it is both players plans every move, not one. She has her opinion, you have yours. Plan with her, make it one. That's how it should be.

Take my mum as an example, ( I've studied my parents ) you see .. if my mum wants something or wanna do shopping, she would approach my dad and give him a massage and encourage him after a busy day. And surely she'll get to go shopping or things she wanna do. That's my mum. =)

In relationships, there are surely a individual ( men / female ) can't provide. It's just because they don't know how to. Maybe their parents didn't taught them things like certain proper behavior like respecting or whatever you name it. It's just because they don't know how to. Don't blame them. Take time and patiently  cultivate them. Not all family teachings or customs are 100% the same or correct. But it's important that you should remember to choose whatever you've been taught since young, is correct. Then mix it up with your partners customs and teaching, and make a better home.

I guess i better head to bed now.

Ps. Now, you can't give whatever you need to give. But I know you can, and soon you'll know how to. I know you can do it babe. ;)

Key to successful relationships & marriage Part 2

( Please refer to part one 1st before reading part 2 )

How do you have a successful relationship with someone through out your life? You need allot knowledge, you need allot of understanding. And a truck load of wisdom. And that's what the bible says. "the rooms will then be filled with treasure." You can have a wonderful home, every single office will be like a treasure place. Even going to work will be happier, if you can have good relationship with people. There are some folks who don't wanna go to work tomorrow why? They're gonna face somebody they upset with. Or vice versa, and it's not a nice place to work when people around you ain't speaking to you. So how do you relate to people where it's a joy, it's a treasured place to go there. And imagine not be able to come home to a place like that.

Very important, we wanna talk about the principles of successful relationship. I wanna define principles for you 1st. The word "princ" from the word principles mean = 1st. And I wanna bring this back to you because, a principle has to do with the 1st law that was lay down by the manufacturer ( GOD ). In another words, the principles of relationships has to do with the original laws of relationships that were lay down by the manufacturer. So we're gonna be dealing with God's laws concerning how to have good relationships. So we're gonna talk about the fundamental rule of principles means that the base rule, the fundamental rules of everything that God created. The foundation laws. Principles therefore, have to do with the 1st fundamental foundational, original laws established by the manufacturer which are created and designed to regulate the function of everything that's created. When God created the woman and the man, he also designed laws by which they suppose to function, and relate to each other. Just like any manufacturer makes a car. He designs the care, He tells you how the car works. If you follows the law of the manufacturer, the car works fine. You create your own laws, you got problems just like if you "don't want" to put gasoline in the car, you "want" to fuel it with orange juice. So we gotta learn the presets , the principles, the foundational laws. And what I'm teaching you, is not something what I came out with last week.

I'm really sad, when I see people especially Christians, fallen apart in marriage. I said to myself " this is so easy to fix." But they know nothing, they don't understand it, they don't have the information. This is what I see here in Malaysia, this is normally the happens to Kelantanese Malays, if a wife starts an argument the man would  just say, "if you keep on shouting and scolding I'm gonna divorce you." And the wife just shuts her mouth and let it be just like that. Many I've seen many couples ended in divorce. The Malays has the highest rank of divorce rate in the country. Last year, statistics shows that a Malay couple gets divorced every 15 minutes. The Facebook social networking site popped up as one of the top reasons for divorce.
Because, for every five divorce cases, two or three will have been caused by Facebook. 

And so what couples normally do? Is they just throw it away. It's like having a car, don't know how to fix it so you just leave it beside the road. People do that in their relationships. There are people you break up with in your relationships, years ago? Just, you know, friends. Who was suppose to be blessings to you. But you don't speak to them no more for the last 20 years. And they still suppose to be a blessing to you. They can never get the blessing too, because you cannot handle the human relationship part. That's how important relationships are, gotta learn those principles. Just a statement here, the key to life therefore, is to live according to the knowledge, and then understanding, and obey those laws that make life function.

I believe that the greatest problem in all of life including relationships is ignorance of those principles.

Pastor Myles : my wife and I have been married for 25 years, and I mean I'm afraid to say this because people don't believe me. But we never had a fight, although we have different opinions, we discuss an issue. She give her opinion, I give my opinion. But never a fight, never raised our voice at each other for 25years. Never had a negative thing to slaughter each other. And it wasn't because we're lucky. It's because of knowledge. Let me give you a quick example, ( remember this ok ) because of what I know the knowledge, what I have studied about women, what I've learned over the last 30 years about females. I mean research. Do you know that? It is a principle, that you should never say a negative word to a woman. ( That's a principle ) Now how many men knows that??? Not many right? ( Lord have mercy ) You could think, negative words about your wife, never say them. ( And that's tough for us man )

Now here is what my dad told, " son husband and wife aren't suppose to quarrel, not at all. Both of them are always a team. Just like Dr. Myles and his wife.

Now a woman, a woman can say any kind of negative word to a man, doesn't effect him. But vice versa, you got a hell to pay. Do you know why? Because the principle, is that a woman does not hear words. Woman are designed differently from a man, they don't hear words. Man hear words, woman don't hear words. They ( woman ) experience words. This is negative and positive. Here is how it works:

He's your husband, you go to work. He's not treating you right at home, he keeps telling you negative things. You crazy, you stupid, you fat, you're ugly or whatever. You go to work, and a guy in the job says you're cute, you fine, you wonderful.

Now you see you got a couple of problems going on here. She's having a bad experience at home, so going to work is a pleasure. She can't wait to see that guy everyday who gives her another experiences. That's why it is important for you ( man) to be careful what you say to another man's wife. Are you getting it? See I can't talk to you woman in the church do I talk my wife. As innocent as may seem, I am giving you an experience. As a man of God, I have to be very careful what I say to women. That's why pastor get in trouble. Like any man gets in trouble. Because they don't know the principle. The principle is.... whatever you say to a women she feels it. That's why there's so many acts of adultery. So many broken marriages, because you got man are so ignorant of the principles, that even that they mean well. It turns into a deep well. Especially if the women, is having a bad experience at home. So if a man keeps telling a woman negative things, any man that tells her positive things. She's not looking for the man you know, she's looking for the experience. So she like to be around this man. And of course that feeds his ego, so he keeps on telling other things that make her be attracted to him. And then she confuses that with love, and now we got a problem now in a marriage. But it's all because of a principle, just one I've taught you. Just one. Sure it's complicated to this. Relationships, you don't need to be married to experience this. It's a relationship principle. That's why women, always seem to be control by man. If the man knows how to talk, get it? Yeah

And that's why you know, a women who ain't married going away with a guy, and the guy is telling all these wonderful thing, she experiences what she hears.
And then one day, he says: " I don't like you, you know? "
And she can't believe, this man wants to leave her. " What are you talking about? You already gave me 6 months of experiences. You called me on the phone and told me my voice was beautiful like music. You told that I'm lovely and I got a good personality, you kept stroking my experience, and now you are telling that you are leaving me? "
See and the woman takes it so hard because, she is about to loose experience. To him, so she calls him dog. Now you see a man is different, he doesn't feel words. He analyses words. A man different, so he takes the word dog, he analyses it. " Dog, see if I'm a dog? I'm not a dog. Good, ok. So I'm not a dog. " Now she gets doubly angry, he suppose to be mad. He doesn't get mad. So now it makes her more angry that he doesn't feel bad like how the way she feels about. So she thinks he's cold, heartless. No, he just don't feel the word. It's different, Principles, learn them.

That's why Jesus always tells His wife ( church ) beautiful things. "You are the apple of my eyes" He says. I mean Jesus never speaks negative to the church. He loves us so much. He says I'm gonna raise you up on the 3rd day, on the last day. And you'll be like a bride at dawn for a husband. I mean He says, " you are My Jewels and my crown. That's why we are so special to Jesus, He just says good things to His wife. She has an experience. So man, you learn an important principle. Be careful what you say to your secretary. You got to keep the limits. Tell her that's a nice dress today. That's all you meant. Have you married? You shouldn't let anybody tell your wife more good things than you tell her every morning before she leaves. You understand? That's how it works. Because if she gets more experiences from other man than she gets from you. You're in danger. It's getting deeper already huh? Haha. We're just got introduction here. It's a principle. What's the problem? The tragedy is that we're ignorant of these principles. And so we don't know why we cause problems. Sometimes, a man will end up having sex with a woman that he doesn't love. He loves his wife, but he's been talking to his woman. Saying the wrong things at the wrong level. Imagine a husband, who's married to a woman. Telling another woman " you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen" Now that is dangerous! Because only his wife suppose to hear that. You know what she hears? She experiences that she's better than your wife right away. So now you're in trouble cause she sees you as a target. You are vulnerable, as far you concern she is more important than your wife. You should never tell a woman anything that makes her more important than your wife. Cause she experiences it.

to be continue in part 3...

Key to successful relationships & marriage Part1

This post is based on Dr Myles Munroe's sermon. This is what I've learned, and I'm learning to apply it in my daily life. 


1 out of 2 marriage in America will end up in divorce. According to world's statistic, highest divorce rate is Belgium which is 59.8 divorces per 100 marriage. Followed by Sweden ( 2nd ) and 3rd Czech Republic. An the list goes on. ( http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_per_100_mar-people-divorces-per-100-marriages ) Many wondered why & how people get divorce. The answer is because people are lack of knowledge. We've been taught to have a successful relationship since Genesis. But we keep ignoring it. So let's go back and rediscover how things originally work.

Keys to successful relationships & marriage. I'm not talking about marriage only, I'm talking about all the relationships. Because the only different between marriage relationship and all the other relationship is that one of them is binding by a contract. So in relationship have the same principles, whether you marry or not? The only thing that marriage may have in it that's unique is.....the fact is that you can express your feelings and your love to someone in the sexual act of intercourse. But that is a small part of marriage. Relationships are the same when it comes to principles. Let me give you an example to make sure you get this point :

If you drive a car but is not your car, you have relationship with that car. ( as long you are driving it, but it's not your car, doesn't belong to you. ) So your attitude towards that car maybe a little bit different than if it was your car. In another words, if you're paying for a car, you own it and you're paying it every month. I think the attitude towards that car is different. You have covenant with that car, that's your money. So you treat it differently, you clean it, you care the way you drive, you don't wanna to get mess up. But if it's not your car, it's not really as important to you as if it was your car. Isn't that true? Yeah that's human nature. That's even true about relationships, that's even true between marriage relationships and other relationships. You're still relate to other people, the difference is one of them is you gotto care about because, you got a contract with it. There's a difference. I wanna talk a bout rediscovering the original principles for human relationships. That's why I use the term Kingdom. And in our Kingdom series, we are learning God's original plans for everything. We'll be focusing on the keys to male and female relationships ( next coming post ). We're gonna be dealing with foundation and principles for male and female relationships. By the way if you're not married, this is a good place for you to be, to prepare yourself, but also if you desire to be married. It's important to show God that you are desired to be married. And you do that by, preparation. You use your Faith. So if you desire to be married, you act in that direction and visit every post. God watches it because, He sees that you desires something and you have so much faith for it, you begin to prepare for it. If somebody is presently kinda interested in you, then I would suggest that you make sure they sit in this series also. Because nothing is worse than one person knowing something and the other person not knowing the same thing. Because it doesn't work if only one person knows. Is that clear? 

Foundation of life

Foundation, principles for male and female relationships, I wanna begin with a scripture, Proverbs chapter 24: 3-4.  This scripture has become a foundation of understanding relationships. The scripture is about building a strong marriage, a strong home and a strong family. It is the wisdom of God spoken through Solomon regarding how to build a strong marriage, a strong home and a strong family. So here is what it says: 

3 By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established; 

4 through knowledge its rooms are filled 
with rare and beautiful treasures.

Strong Marriage

The bible here in the words of Solomon are teaching us how to build a relationship, a strong marriage, a successful home and a strong family. And it's not difficult to understand it. Except we keep ignoring it. Now here is God telling us, here is what cha need to build a strong home, a strong family and a strong marriage. And He doesn't mention LOVE, He doesn't mention SEX, He doesn't mention holding hands, cuddling and kissing. He doesn't mention Emotions. And yet God gives us the formula for a successful family, home and marriage. We keep ignoring it. This verse also tells us, what qualifies you to marry someone. The only way you should really feel comfortable and confident in marrying someone is if they are qualified with this verse. Boy that right away makes you wait. By wisdom ! a house is build! Through understanding you established it! That means it is firmly rooted and then through knowledge it's rooms are filled with precious treasure.

Sleeping back to back

 Let me explain the last part. You've be in the house where the people won't speak to each other? Come on... you know sometimes it happens. It's kinda quiet, you can feel ice in the house. Now that's not bad and tell you when you're married, it gets real bad there. Especially sleeping back to back. I mean it happens because people don't understand that the key to keeping ice out of your house is knowledge. Read it again. It says every room suppose to be like beautiful treasure in this place. Precious things, it is a nice place to come home to. You wanna be in every room together. Every room seem to be like a special place of treasure. It's a beautiful as atmosphere. I mean the word of God says every room suppose to be precious. Man... some relationships is tough to even go to the old house.  You don't even want to go to the house period. But yet God says no if you do it right, every room is a joy.


 I want you to remember this, LOVE does not build, nor guarantee a successful marriage. That's a frightening statement. This verse tells me that love, as you know it, is not enough.

Pastor Munroe's experience, he shared: 


I have sat in my office right here in the center, with the couples sitting in front of me with their divorce paper in their bag. And I hear them say to me: 

Woman:  I can't live with him

Add caption

Man: She's crazy, I can't live with her either

Dr Munroe asking the famous question : Do you still love him? 
Woman:  ( crying ) yes~
Dr Munroe:  But why you're getting divorce? 
She answered: I can't stand him.
Dr Munroe:  But you love him? 
Woman: ( crying ) yes~ ( Some confuse now as a pastor ok... ) 

Dr Munroe asked him:  Do you still love her? 

Man ( acting cool now ): yeah~ 

Dr. Munroe: Then why marrying her? 

Man: She's crazy man... 

Dr. Munroe: But you love her? Yeah... Then why you're getting divorce?  

Man: I can't live with her. 
Dr. Munroe: But you love her? 
Man: Yes. 

Do you know that 99% of the people who get divorce still love one another? 99% !! They still love one another! During all the divorce process, procedure they still love one another. But you see they confuse with love and wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I'm gonna give you alot of dumb examples in this session. But I want you to remember the examples, cause the examples are good, fitted to understand the principles.



 For example: Do you love your car? No? Not really? But I think you love your car because what it does for you right? ok... Let's say you love your car, does love keep your car running? Come on.... If you kiss your car, and tell it how lovely it works and how wonderful it is. Does it still run? No, your car doesn't run on love. What do you need? Gasoline. How do you know that's what the car needs? Because you know that's what the car needs. Because you what? Know. No matter how wonderful you say this car is and you love the color, it's beautiful, cute car, lovely car, nice car. But if you don't put Gasoline in that car, it quits on you. Even while you kiss it. Human beings are no different from that car. You see... according to the word of God, the key to relationships, is not love.

Ok, I'm gonna put this in order alright. In order to understand this list you got to understand from the bottom. So I want you write it in your notes. 


3rd: Wisdom
2nd: Understanding
1st: You need to get knowledge. ( That's the 1st principles to build successful relationship. )


O... Do you need wisdom? Deliver people. That's what I'm gonna teach you in this series. You're gonna get knowledge ( alot of it ), Then you're gonna get hopefully understanding, you're gonna understand the knowledge. My job is to break it down and so you can understand what it's saying. Because you could not apply what cha don't understand. And then we're going to learn how to be wise. Let me define the 3 words very quickly.


 The word knowledge put next to it, information. You need information, no relationship works without information. And these are usually the last thing you and I go after. We go after hugging and kissing and holding hands, but we don't go after to get information. And that's the 1st thing you should go after. The other problem is... if we do go after a little bit  information, we go for the wrong information. Like we get our information from Oprah Winfrey. Or we our information from magazine from the shelf. Or people who have been married 5 times. It's bad source of information. I can't think really of too many people who are successful Hollywood stars or any celebrity, who would ever be a model for you in marriage. And yet we read all those magazines, and we spend our money on those magazine and books from some place. And we tried to emulate these failures. Wrong source of knowledge. The other problem is... if we do go for knowledge, we go get knowledge from our friends who have been divorce before. Or friends don't even had relationships before. Some friends gets information from the TV like desperate house wife or gossip girls. And they share all these bad source of information. Talking to your sister, whose marriage ain't working.  And she gave you advice on your boyfriend. Bad source of information. Or even your mother who have been divorce 5 times, or your father who have been divorce 5 times. Getting advice from him is not a good source of information. Where do you get your information from? But you gonna get knowledge from somewhere 1st.

The 2nd word is what? Understanding. Write next to that word, write the word comprehension. It's a big word. To comprehend means, to be able to mentally, cognitively relate to the information, to the point where you can  assimilated  it. To understand means, you can take information and the concepts can be assimilated , you understand them. The bible says you must get that.


For example I could tell you, "you should love one another". Ok that's information.The problem is do you comprehend that? No cause you might know what I mean by love. You don't know what love is. 


As the matter of fact there are actually 4 words that are translated "love" in the bible. 3 of them are very common. Normally think of three of them. So when I say love you, or you say you love your wife... We not sure what you mean. So you got to be able to comprehend when the word of God says to love your wife, what does it mean? Can you comprehend it? If you don't comprehend it,  you can't apply it. That's why you need teaching, teaching is to help you to comprehend information.

Dr Myles Munroe says:  I know how to love my wife Ruth, I know how to do it and I took me thousands of hours of reading to learn how to love my wife. Buying  my wife a dress is not love. 


You'll be amazed what a woman calls love, you'll be amazed. And by the way, the bible never tells a woman to love a man, and yet man need love. But it's not love the way of woman thinks love is. If you buy a man flowers, he thinks you are stupid. You see the love to a man is different. That is for woman. So you gotta comprehend when you say, " how do I love my husband? " You gotta learn what love means to a man. The woman spells love not L.O.V.E. a woman spells love differently. She spells love A.F.F.E.C.T.I.O.N.  Now brothers, you gotta try to figure out what affection means to a woman. And that's a whole new ball game again. And yet she calls that love for what is affection? You can take 2 weeks just to study that one. Cause they're complicated man... If your wife is mad, and you buy her a diamond ring. She's still mad. It ain't the ring she wants, something else you missed. You know in the Bahamas they have this saying, " patch it up with chicken in the bag " couple of years ago. That bag don't work no more brother, you bring all the chicken you want home. She still ain't gonna deal with you, cause it's different. For example, one way that a man spells love. Is... R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Not flowers, not ties. So the concepts gotta be understood.

The last word is what? Wisdom, write next to the word: application. Wisdom is the ability to apply knowledge effectively. Wisdom is what? The ability to apply knowledge effectively. Let me tell you something. Even though you may learn allot about how to live with a husband, you gotta also learn how to apply what you learned properly. Cause you can take information that's good and make it a bad experience. That's why wisdom is called the supreme. Wisdom is the supreme, wisdom is the ultimate, if you can apply it effectively, you get it. Wisdom is the important thing in life. That's why they never say:
Jesus Christ is made unto us, understanding. No.
It never says Christ is made unto us, knowledge. No. 
He is made unto us what? The Wisdom of GOD.  He is God applied, He not just information. He is the application of divinity. He shows you how to apply GOD. That's the ultimate of Jesus. And so it is in relationships.