Key to successful relationships & marriage Part 3

Here's a scripture, that  we all know well.

 Hosea 4:6 says :

My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. "Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.

Simply put or write this down:

1.     The greatest enemy of man is ignorance. 

According to God you're not destroyed by the devil, you're not destroyed even by sin. You are destroyed by what? Ignorance.

This is what I heard people said: " The devil has ruined my marriage"

 No!! that ain't the devil, you just don't know what to do.

They even said: " The devil had gone into my wife." 

Ain't no devil into your wife. Ignorance all up in her. Up in you too, cause you don't know what to do. You might be causing her to have the problem, cause you don't know what to do. 

We so quick to blame the devil, poor guy. I'm sorry for the devil sometime man... he carry all this credibility for being the source of problems. You see... according to God, we're destroyed because of what? Ignorance. Very important.

     2. The greatest enemy of man say " you cannot do what you don't know. "

 Always remember that. And that is important in relationships. You cannot do what you don't have knowledge of. And there are always situations in relationships, like in anythings else that you need to know what to do when it happens. Dr. Munroe said that He could read his wife. I'm talking about like 10 seconds. By seconds just read her. Cause then He'll know what to do. 

Do you know what causes domestic violence? Domestic violence is the result of a person, who don't know how to fix something. You ever seen somebody at the side of the road kicking a car? It's very common. As if the car did something wrong. The car stopped, you get to the side, you curse the car, kick the car, punch the car, and curse the car. And the car didn't do anything to you. The only problem is that you don't know how to fix the car. So what do you do? You attack the car. That is what exactly what you do to people. The violence in our community, is a result of the Bahamian mentality is incapable of knowing how to resolve conflicts . They don't know how to do it. And so they would refer to anger, and then guns and physical abuse. That's why a man would beat a woman or why a boy would beat his girlfriend. Cause they don't know what to do. So they attack the person. You know, when ever you don't know what to do? Now listen to me, I'm telling you all some good wisdom. If you see problems coming into your car ( that's your relationship for example ), and you don't know what to do. Go and find a mechanic. That's what a counselor is. That's what a pastor and the staff is. They are your mechanic. Is if a mechanic, knows the engine. You hardly hear a mechanic curse at a car. Think about it, why? They know what to do. 

Here's what Dr. Myles has shared:

As the matter of fact, I remember one time I had an old car, it came from college. An old car called the green hornet, my car. And that car stopped, I din't know what to do with this car. So I called my friend, his name was Kenneth Neuri ( I guess that's his last name ) I mean he's one of the best mechanic and still is in the country. 

Kenneth:  ok i'll stop by the house and I'll check it out ". 

And that Saturday morning he came by Dr Myles's house before he went to work. 

Kenneth: ok where's the key? " 

I got the key says Dr. Munroe  

Kenneth: OK turn it. 

Dr. Myles turn it.

Kenneth: turn it again.

Dr. Myles turn it.

Kenneth: ok I know what's wrong.

In seconds, he went inside there and open that carburetor. He says see? The timing pin is broken.

Dr. Myles: how much it's cost?

Kenneth: 3-4 dollars

Dr. Myles: the whole car was just stuck for 3 dollars?

Kenneth : yup.

Dr Myles: Man...  I was mad for the whole day.

So you gotta keep learning.There's a pastor named Kevin. Pastor Kevin had been married for 37years ok. Now guess what? Pastor Henry has never been a grandfather. He just turn a grandfather. That means he and his wife are now what they never was. How do grandparents act. If his wife wants to go down to see her grandchild, and he don't want his wife to go. He got himself another problem. He had a woman now who's changed on him. She wanna be with the grandchild, He wants to be with her. See.. the was no one before that, so she was with him. So now he gotta learn how to deal how do you live with a grandmother. That ain't funny that's serious, she changed! Am I getting my point across? Don't think that because you are married means that you are made it. The person is always changing. 

Dr. Myles shared:

My wife is changed completely. My son and daughter left the house, and my wife has changed. Cause only us two home. Every room I go into, she's right behind me. Everywhere I go, why? There's no one else to talk to. I have no more privacy. And I have to think, " wait a minute, my wife is lonely " So now I have to become even more accessible to her. She's changed. And then she can change again. When my kids get married, have grand kids. I ain't no see her no more. I gotta go look for her. See, and I got to get ready for that. I got to know how do you deal with that. 

Ok you ain't got no kids right now, that's why you all got plenty time. When baby come, you're in trouble brother. You gotta compete with the child, for attention. See you don't understand people change, that's why you gotta keep getting information. Keep getting knowledge. 

Alright let me just wrap up now, on the point that we're gonna take up the next session. I want  you to take a look at, the fundamentals here the fact that man was created by God to have relationships.

1st point to remember. And this is what I called the principles of relationships:

1. Mankind was created to be a social creature. ( That's very important to write down )

You were not created by God to be isolated by yourself. Now, but that's a blessing but also a challenge. Because number 2..... :

2. Socialization is the principle of life.

If you are going to be a human, you got to socialize with people. Got to relate to people. Some of the relationships are permanent, some are temporary but you gotta learn to relate to people and people are strange. People are just like you, you are strange man.... And some people are fine until you get to know them. Hmm, somebody say amen.... haha.. 

Socialization is challenge. Alright? And so the point is this, all creation was design to function, according to certain principles that are establish by God. And these principles are used to protect and preserve those creatures. So we gotta learn those principles, so that we can learn how to protect and preserve one another. Your relationships suppose to a beautiful experience. And if it's not it's because, either you or the other party are not dealing with the information properly, or don't have information. And I'm telling you friends you can't guess about your marriage. You gotta know everything, as much as possible. That's why you got to keep getting information. You just got to know what to do, you got to know. Because you see, life is so complicated if you don't know what to do. There's gonna be tension, that goes to stress. And that stress comes into anger. And anger turns into bitterness, and that becomes division. And then leads into big divorce. You don't want to get there. So gotta get the information. Very important. 

The key to success in relationships are therefore, is understanding these principles. Drive that home in your spirit. And that's what we need to deal with. We wanna make that every family and every home and every potential relationships is successful. And it can be, and it will be, and God's gonna bless you, because we're gonna work together in these series to make your relationship a joy. 

Dr Myles Shared: A young man came to me recently and he said, I'm going with a girl but she has told me that she has " shiftfulness ". And we're engaged. What do I do Pastor Myles. 

Tough problems. You gotta guide them through that. Man was created with the need and the capacity for relationship. Both of those words are important. You need relationships, both male and female, and God has given you the capacity for it. You are able to have relationships. The problem is you need to understand the principles, that make relationships successful. And so we gotta find what are the established principles that God lay down from the beginning. What are the original ones? And I found this verse in the book of 

Genesis 2:18. ( I love it )

 "God says it is not good for man to be alone. " I will make help suitable for him. " 

The word alone doesn't mean lonely, the word alone means isolated. It's very important. The Hebrew concepts actually means the only one of your kind. It is not good for man to be the only one of his kind, so God made for him one who is suitable like him. God doesn't create you, to keep accompany with dogs and cats. I heard that mans best friend is a dog? That's not scriptural. Dogs were around when God said this to Adam. As the matter of fact Adam was naming the animals when God said this. And God says ain't none like you, and need someone just like you. That's why anyone who has house full of cats but ain't got nobody else, they're sick. " I don't need anybody, I got my little fluffy dog. " No you need prayer! And deliverance! This ain't normal. 

Let me tell why people fell in love with animals. Here's why, because they don't want to commit to the course of human relationship. So they settle for animals, and it's not scripture. See.. one thing with dogs, they can't  tell you what's wrong or what cha doing wrong. They can't give you their opinion. But God says it's not good for man to be alone, only one of his kind. So He made someone just like him. And boy... after God made that, trouble started. Got somebody to tell your teeth ain't clean, and your breath ain't fresh. Man it makes you mad ain't that brother? Somebody talked to you.

Very important, principles of relationships male & female. Fundamental scripture again:

26Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

And then I like this verse it says: 

²⁷ So God created mankind in His own image, 
   in the image of God He created them; 
   male and female.... ( that's the point I wanna get ) 

He made both of the genders, and then :

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number.....

Be fruitful in your relationship. God expect good things from male and female. How fun. Boy... ever since the fall we've been struggling. One thing with marriage, once you get in you can't get out. Boy... that's class closed quarters. When you court, you can always go home. When you married ain't no house to go to, cause you are in the house. So you gotta face the music, you gotta learn how do I live with a person. And that's important to learn that before you get married, before you get in there. 

Here's something I thought something was interesting, in Matthew 19:3:

Some Pharisees came to Him ( Jesus ) to ask Him a question. They asked, “Should a man divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

He asked about divorce, Jesus ignored the question. And He said:  

⁴ “Haven’t you read,” Jesus replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female

They asked about divorce, He went back to the beginning. Point I'm trying to make here is... the principle is what? The original fundamental law. Jesus always goes back to the original Law. Because the principles and the keys to success are the original laws of success. And He says look, divorce is not the problem. The problem is.. you didn't begin with  the original presets that God began with. Let me put it in another way...

Jesus said that, broken relationships are not problems / divorce to Jesus is not a problem, it is a symptom. Should write that down, very important. See we think that divorce is a problem, but it's not. It's a symptom. A symptom is like a pain, it's a pain in your body, that's not a problem, that's symptom that something else is wrong. So when they asked Jesus about divorce, He said, y'all ain't got divorce problem. Divorce is just a manifestation to something else is wrong. He said from the beginning, lets go back behind divorce. It's important to get a divorce unless you're married. It's impossible to get married unless you get a male and female. And it's impossible to get a male and female unless you get a male. He went right back, He said from the beginning God didn't make what you've get. God didn't create married 1st He said. And you can't get divorce unless you're married, so divorce is a result of marriage. So marriage ain't the problem. He says, the problem is you started with the wrong male and the wrong female. We focus on marriage, Jesus focuses on male and female. See your marriage is only as good as your singleness. So He said don't blame marriage, blame what cha started with. " the cake is only as good as the ingredients " So if the cake falls and it's dumped, you don't curse the cake. You gotta go check,  what did I used in the recipe incorrectly. The Pharisees are talking about a dumped cake ( divorce ), He said no, lets study what kind of flour and stuff you've put in. Lets start with what you started with. Obviously, you didn't started with the male and female at the beginning. You don't get the kind at the beginning, you get some other male / female, not the one that God had in the beginning. See.. that's why in this series you gotta go back and study His beginning male and female. Because that guarantees His cake ( successful relationship ). 

You know magic in marriage? Ain't no magic in relationships. It's simple. You started with the right thing, you end it with the right thing. So it's important to focus on singleness than to focus on marriage. Everybody wanna get married. No! You've gotta try and be single 1st. And try to find someone who is single, I mean really single, in the name of Jesus. Pastor Myles always remind me that marriage is like an egg omelette, it is only as good as the eggs. You don't improve on an omelette. You can't improve it, it is as good as the eggs you've started with. And that's what Jesus meant. He said divorce isn't the problem, you've started with the wrong eggs.

Let put it this way, Ps. Myles did an experiment, And I've tried it too. Get an rotten egg. How you get an rotten egg? Simple, take an egg and put a hole on top of it. And left it out for 2 days. It's sure stinks. Left it out in the heat. And then take the rotten egg mix it in a bowl with a very good egg from the refrigerator. And fry it. It'll sure be a stink house. Guess what? The omelette is completely stink. The rotten egg overpowered the good egg. An became an rotten omelette. And I've learn a lesson, the problem is I cannot get eggs again.  See... it's important to focus on eggs not omelettes. And whoever you crack with, whoever you yoke yourself up with, will either destroy you or you destroy him / or her. And the rotten one, gonna win.

Example (stories that I've heard) :

1st.  Woman: I know that He ain't safe, but to me he's a nice fellow. << that's a rotten egg.

2nd. Woman: He don't go to church right now,  but he promise me that after we get married. Then he'll go to church. <<< that's rotten egg sister.

 Ain't no mystery to life... No mystery. You crack with an egg, you get yourself an omelette. An the problem is, you can't un-omelette yourself. It's almost impossible to be an egg again. 

When you get a divorce, I see why God hates divorce. Let me tell you why God hates divorce. Because you never get yourself back. Never. Even in break-ups. Never. What happens is, parts of the old person becomes ingrained with your sidekick. It's like an egg, mixing. So you gotta pray for God to miraculously deliver you. But you can't ever unhook those things. That's why it's so tough.

If you get married 2nd time, you better get a course before you get married again. Take Dr. Myles course. Cause you don't wanna do it again. You don't wanna go through that trauma again. It is the worse thing in the world. Even break-ups. Because it's like an omelette.

If a woman marries a man, who did not have a father. She'll get some challenges. Even if a man marries a woman, who did not have a father. He'll get some challenges too. It's not possible you know, but there would be some challenges.

If a person comes from a home that was not functional home, you get some challenges too. These are realities. That's why you need counsel, that's why you need help. In some class, marriage class, or relationship class ( I mean those which are really qualified and good, but I recommend Dr. Myles class, cause they're good, now my dad is handling marriage counselling too, here in Malaysia. And I'm learning. XD ) cause they are always gonna be like parents to you. Parents you never had. The daddy that never talked to you., so that's where they gonna talking to you in this series. The mother you never had, that's what you gonna hear. Because you see, they're suppose to do this. You can't demand things that your dad can't give you. Because his daddy didn't give it to him. And that's the problem. And when you make a demand on someone that they can't fulfill, they become angry at you. Because you're telling them to produce something they don't have. It's tough. 

For me I'm blessed because I have a father, who is able to guide me, and able to share these knowledge with me. And we're both blessed, cause Dr. Myles are like our parent. Cause many of my uncles and aunts marriage ended up in divorce. If it's not my dad searches for teachings like this, my mum and dad would definitely end up in divorce. And I have 2 younger brothers and a sister. Our lives would definitely be broken. Now I'm blessed with these knowledge, I'll guide my brothers and sister, to be an example for them. Ok... if you're not married yet (this is what my dad & Dr. Myles taught me ), their advice is... study the person who you are considering. But don't study them, study where they're coming from. Because all that's coming into your life, and you might need some adjustments. Cause they're things that's good and bad. I mean if they never had a father, bring them to Dr. Myles ( from Bahamas ) or My dad ( Malasysia ). Or counselors ( qualified ones ) let them talk to them, they'll check them out for you and they become father to them. Because they're some things that they can't give you, if they didn't have the training. Am I making sense? You marry a woman, she didn't have the right kind of environment, you can't demand certain things from her, she can't give it to you cause, she never had the training. So we gotta to learn to catch up.

Last 2 statements here, write them down:

1.     Your marriage is only as good as your singleness. 

2.     And until you're single, you're ready for marriage. 

Very important to remember that. Those who have boyfriend and girlfriends, there's plenty of time more. Those who are married, is too late for you. Haha.. So you gotta try to become single fast, while you're married. In other words, get a good grip of who you are as individual. Ask God to give you yourself back, your self esteem, sense of self concepts. Simple statement right? If you wanna improve your marriage, improve yourself. We normally tell people to improve " why can't you change" no no no, you are the other egg. And we blame everybody for stuff, we always wanna transfer it. No..... If you want a better relationship, improve yourself. Read books, go to marriage seminars, read blogs like these, get some mp3 and listen them in the car, or jogging ( that's what I always do ) for few weeks ( remember to get the right source of information, not the bad ones ). Improve yourself, you'll be amazed on how much you'll see the person differently. As the matter of fact, the 1st person you see is yourself differently. Cause you begin to see your own weaknesses, your own lack of knowledge, your own ignorance level. You'll begin to be amaze that how dumb you are. As the matter of fact, you may asked the person to forgive you a 1000 times, when you get more information. Because your eyes opened. I want you to succeed. I want to see no more broken homes in the church or anywhere. I'm tired to of seeing the saints, fussing and fighting and can't sleep together in the bed with their wife and husband. I am sick and tired of seeing young teenage people and young single adults not being able to make good choices, and have good relationships without having all kinds of stress. You gotta get the knowledge. You should be able to get good relationship with a man / woman. But you gotta have knowledge for that to happen. And you gonna get them. You can get that knowledge in these class. And God's gonna give us a good core of solid people would live together until they die. That's my prayer. You'll know what to do.